Saturday, April 23, 2011

Re-setting the bar for the expression "built like a norse god"

The more teasers and sneak-peeks and glimpses I catch of the new movie Thor (6 May 2011 U.S.) the more apt the term "release date" seems.
'Thunder' on, after the jump...


It doesn't hurt that in a recent interview, the thunder god himself (in the hunky earthly form we know as Chris Hemsworth) confessed that he managed to pack on so much muscle in preparation for shooting that he had issues fitting into the costume.  The dude was huge already and IT'S A SUPERHERO COSTUME, so let your mind run on that one for a while.  Apparently the costume was so tight at a late-stage fitting that Chris' circulation was cut off and he had tingling and a loss of sensation in his extremities....hmmm.  Speaking of circulation, tingling and extremities:
I suspect the phrases "put the hammer down" and "hammering away" will take on new layers of innuendo after this flick releases here.

For Men in Peril fans, it seems like Thor wakes up in unfamiliar surroundings not remembering how he got there or what happened to him.  He's assaulted by taser, forcibly restrained, drugged and confined...interrogated by gov't agents (SHIELD presumably, see above).  Undergoes numerous crucial wardrobe changes in the, uh, exposition, er development of the story (below)


At some point he's very wet and dirty in a very tight t-shirt - I smell an Oscar for costume design!  He flexes mightily as he hefts his mighty...oh, that's too easy.  Then there's capes and breastplates and codpieces galore in godland (Ass-guard is what they call it in the comics, I believe)


Oh, and there's a showdown between the solo Sons-of-Anarchy-chic Thor and some giant otherwordly foe with bad aim...and more costume changes, conveniently on camera (and seductively-lit it would seem).  Did he crash in a town without Banana Republic or Bachrach around? I mean, the Sons of Anarchy blue-collar thing works for Chris' cornfed-cum-viking bod, but Thor's kinda high-n-mighty when he first appears on our plane, so I doubt he'd hit the Farm and Fleet or Tractor Supply for his duds.  But it looks like it works overall, there are two distinct settings here, so the Asgardian action scenes will have that requisite suspense-of-disbelief-thing going for them while the earthly plane will give us bite-sized doses of character development, and plenty of beefcake....I think/hope/pray.

 Curiouser and curiouser...


Hopefully we'll be treated to plenty of guttural utterances (you know, Batman-style "ooof!" and "Unnnngggh!" etc.) and oodles of long hard high-def (DLP or IMAX are fine) stares and glares with the occasional jaw twitches and bulge-y neck cords and such.

Stacked up against Chris Evans' Captain America, Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern (ala Hal Jordan), and Heny Cavill's Theseus, this year's box office could be the "Battle of the Bods"  ("Clash of the Tight-abs" was already taken, I researched it!)

Now if there's only some big-screen bondage in any of these movies (fingers crossed)
-boiconstrictor

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