Friday, July 29, 2011

Barbarian in Bondage - My Hopes for the Conan Re-Boot

I gotta say, the world of sword-n-sandal epic has been sorely hurting lately...maybe it was the horrific flop that was Prince of Persia that cooled the market for such stuff, or maybe it was the eyebrow-raising comedic antics of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in his last outing as the Scorpion King that is deflecting any serious interest away from truly epic warrior swordsmen action films, but the material has been lacking.

Compared to the all-out media blitzes for films like Super 8, Harry Potter, Green Lantern, Thor, Captain America and even Cowboys and Aliens so far this year, I'm not sure what to think about the Conan the Barbarian re-boot coming out in only a couple weeks with comparatively little marketing, so far anyway.

One towering beacon of hope, however, is Conan's lead, gargantuan stud, Jason Momoa.  He's really filled out since his Baywatch: Hawaii days...


Dare I say, he's even put on more mass since Stargate Atlantis, as evidenced by his current run in Game of Thrones


Here's hoping we get at least a glimpse of young Conan in chains before the ass-kicking commences - if there's such a thing as a guy with a bod built for bondage, Jason Momoa's has gotta be one of them.
(I know, horrid example, but sadly, Atlantis was sorely lacking for any good bondage and worse yet, Ronan was almost never out of his signature costume)
But, since the guy could wear a garbage bag and hip-waders and make it look sexy, one can't help but wonder if he's being hopelessly typecast as the angsty-yet-soulful young warrior, considering his characters on Baywatch, Stargate, Game of Thrones and Conan are all, on some basic level, the same guy, albeit thrown into different circumstances.  His imposing physical stature could have something to do with it, I suppose, I mean you don't waste a bod and look like that on the "comedically plucky sidekick" or the "wise old sage"...it's also entirely possible that it's a racial issue - not unlike the aforementioned Johnson, Momoa's heritage gives him a pretty unique look in the entertainment industry, so I can't help but wonder if he's being offered or not offered roles based on some outdated notion of what "Middle America" finds appealing. (I guess a side-by-side comparison to some equally-massive anglo-mutts like Kellan Lutz or Jared Padalecki is in order, but I'm fresh out of lube, so that in-depth analysis will have to wait)

In any case, bondage or not, here's hoping there are lots more shirtless sweaty scenes ahead in Mr. Momoa's career, and can't wait to see how he measures up to Arnold as Conan.

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