Wednesday, August 03, 2011

What is Hollywood *Really* Selling - Buff Chris Evans in the Buff, Bloody Kellan Lutz

Not sure what to make of this, but the search query "Chris Evans nude" (and, less frequently "Chris Evans in bondage") has been popping up in my blog stats readout lately...

Of course, Chris Evans is the same super-soldier stud who came out on top in my "Hollywood Movie Studs in Bondage" poll (to figure out who everybody wants to see in bondage, of course!) and the release of Captain America, I'm sure, helped bump up his overall searches: i.e. "chris evans shirtless", "chris evans workout", "chris evans captain america" - hell, even the typical "chris evans gay" and "chris evans alien" queries probably spiked in the last two weeks. (no dis to Chris Evans' hot and gay brother, Scott Evans, apparently on One Life to Live and who Chris describes as "taller and tanner" than he is...YES PLEASE!)


taller and tanner, eh? hmmm...

But, I gotta say, (prior to this article, of course) I don't think I've put out any posts with the words "chris evans nude" actually in them, which makes it all the more puzzling.  Don't get me's not that I don't want to see Chris Evans nude, naked, in the buff, disrobed, buck nekkid or in his birthday suit.  I'm sure I'd be the first one in line to download it, actually.
I wonder who's got those polaroids now?

 ...and there's quite a, pardon the pun, body of work out there with Chris Evans almost or practically nude anyway, right?

...and that's not even getting into the whipped-cream scene from Not Another Teen Movie.  Hell, Chris Evans even looks hot in lycra, and nobody looks hot in lycra.
I kid, I kid - there's alot to be said for lycra
Sadly, I think the high profile of Captain America in his own movie(s) and the upcoming Avengers movie(s), I think the days of oiled-up-shirtless, trucker-cap-and-un-buttoned-jeans-wearing Chris Evans are far far behind us.  His publicist has apparently already put a ban on shirtless beefcake shots of Chris, well before the Captain America publicity campaign launched - a shrewd but cruel move if the only way we can behold him in his various states of undress is to actually go out and watch his movies.  Here's hoping he signs on to some more indie flicks where we can see more of him and his, uh, range ;-)

Maybe Chris Evans can become a TwitPic exhibitionist like fellow "Hollywood Hunks in Bondage" poll contestant Kellan Lutz...
 Is it wrong to think that, even drenched in blood, the guy is still absolutely delicious?

Or there's the big pouty-lipped lug, Tom Hardy:

You remember dapper young Tom from Inception, right?  He's apparently gotten absolutely massive to play Bane in the next (and last??) Dark Knight movie.  Let's hope the trade-off for less witty quips is MORE SKIN, eh?

Save me the aisle seat, boys!

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